Top 5 Gifts We Want to Give (if only we knew who to give them to)

One of the fun parts of this job is that we get to check out all sorts of weird and wonderful gear. Most of the time, things that seem crazy, are crazy. But every so often, something crazy is actually crazy good. These are the things that fit into that latter category.

So here are the top gifts we’d love to give this holiday season… if we only knew someone who we could give them to.

Headphones for Who?

Lauren: My first contribution: T.A.R.D.I.S. headphones. I admit, I’m a total Whovian. So when I saw these cans complete with my favorite time-traveling blue police box, I kinda freaked. The thing is, I’ve been burned before. There is another sci-fi legacy that was immortalized in headphones a few years back, and while they looked pretty cool, man, did they ever sound awful. But these Doctor Who Bluetooth headphones from Massive Audio sound really decent! There’s a little extra bass, and the mids are on the warm side, but seriously, for $119? The sound is bigger than the price tag.

Geoff: Wait, you’re not going to...

Lauren: They are…

Geoff: Please don’t.

Lauren: Totally bigger on the inside!

Geoff: I see we’re off to a great start this year.

Lauren: Now I just need to figure out which Doctor Who fan in my life I should send a pair to.

Geoff: Well given the inspiration I feel like they’re going to start strong, get really popular, then turn really mediocre.

Lauren: Wow. Not you, clearly.

Geoff: Maybe we can use them to go back in time to when Doctor Who was...

Lauren: Allons-y! Jeronimo!

Geoff: Much better.

Toaster that’s got it where it counts

Lauren: This isn’t home theater, really, but… who doesn't like toast?

Geoff: Aren’t you gluten intolerant?

Lauren: Hush. How about STAR WARS TOAST! Lookee.

Geoff: The toast is strong with this one.

Lauren: Do you think the only setting is “Dark?” Or is one side light and the other side dark?

Geoff: Okay, that’s just awesome. Any person that wouldn’t want this is not someone I need in my life.

Greatest headphones ever

Lauren: Okay, Geoff. Are you ready? I don’t think you’re ready.

Geoff: Probably not.

Lauren: Cat. Ear. Headphones. But not just cat ear headphones. Light Up Cat Ear Headphones. But not just light up cat ear headphones. Light Up Cat Ear Headphones where the Ears are Speakers so Other People Can Hear Your Music. Yes. Read that again. BAM.

Geoff: My brain can’t fully process this.

Lauren: Oh and there’s a removable boom mic. BOOM.

Here’s what is nuts. I was completely ready to disregard these things. Let’s face it, these look really silly. But I gave them a chance, and I’m so glad that I did. They actually sound decent! And the ear-speakers are about as good as any small speaker of similar size that I’ve heard. The weight is a little much for my head to wear for a long time, but hey, they’re super fun. But who can I give them to?

Geoff: Not sure I could pull these off.

Lauren: Oh I'm sure.

Delicious Scarf

Geoff: OK, game on. This is about as related to home theater as the toaster but no, it doesn’t matter. Bacon is awesome.

Lauren: What is it with you and bacon stuff? Last time we did this it was bacon headphones. This year, a scarf?


Lauren: Touché.

Geoff: Hmm, it looks more like prosciutto.

Lauren: Does that...

Geoff: Wait, it’s acrylic. That would taste terrible. Vegan though.

Lauren: Technically, yes. Also, we need to talk about you not eating scarves.

Audiophile Watch

Geoff: Now here’s something for the audiophiles reading this. A vacuum tube watch.

Lauren: :::holds breath and hits refresh on comments:::

Geoff: It doesn’t tell time as well as an digital watch, but people think it’s more temporally pleasant.

Lauren: :::refresh, refresh, refresh:::

Geoff: It uses three different batteries, and I’m told if you use special high-end batteries, it’s twice as accurate and moves twice as fast.

Lauren: :::puts on helmet:::

The opinions expressed in this holiday piece are not necessarily the opinions of Lauren, her family, or her dogs. All opinions expressed related to tube amps are those of Geoff and Geoff alone.

Any disclaimers expressed in this holiday piece are not necessarily binding or a factually accurate representation of Geoff’s opinions and may have been written entirely by Lauren.

Lauren Dragan's picture
Geoff, did you edit this after posting? I’m locked out, and can’t make changes!
Geoffrey Morrison's picture
That doesn’t sound like me.
Lauren Dragan's picture
It totally does sound like you. Admit it.
Geoffrey Morrison's picture
Maybe if SOMEONE hadn’t posted an embarrassing photo outtake that’s now out there for the whole Internet to see, and locked to this page thanks to the peculiarities of the posting system...
Lauren Dragan's picture
You said, “Hey, take my picture wearing these headphones.” Where I come from, that’s verbal consent.
Geoffrey Morrison's picture
“Use this one, not that one” was unclear?!?!? That’s it. I’m having Rob delete this whole thing.
Lauren Dragan's picture
I’m just giving the people what they want, Geoff.
veggieboy2001's picture

I think there's a perception that reviewers don't have a sense of humor. Anyone who believes that needs to read this. Thank you.

And for the record, I think you look meowvelous, Geoff.

Geoffrey Morrison's picture
You're very punny.