You Can't Have TeslaMic

I have bad news for you. Really bad news. The TeslaMic is sold out. I know – it is soul crushing. Your dreams of karaoke world domination have been shattered.

Sure, you can buy a Tesla. Anybody can buy a Tesla. But TeslaMic was completely sold out the same day it was introduced. I feel your pain.

Personally, I am not a big karaoke guy. Yes, on one of my trips to Japan, with sufficiently beer-diminished inhibitions, there may or may not have been that one night in Akihabara when I picked up the mic and sang “Hotel California.” We'll never know for sure. That was before the days of ubiquitous smartphone video, and my lips are sealed.

But for a few billion other people, karaoke is the bomb. And, apparently, car karaoke is a big bomb. Which brings us to TeslaMic. Apparently Tesla is tired of making profits by selling cars and carbon credits, and wants to muscle in on the really big bucks of car karaoke. TeslaMic is the car company's moonshot into that lucrative market wherein while driving down the road, you “sing” lead vocals to a popular song.

I put the word “sing” in quotes for a reason. The good news is that if you are driving alone in the privacy of your own vehicle, you will not inflict your talent on a bar filled with inebriated patrons. In my hypothetical case, it is fortunate that they were intoxicated. Aggravated ballading is a serious charge in Japan. But I digress.

Apparently, the TeslaMic performs as expected. In a vehicle that you can drive hands-free, the possibilities for a truly great stage performance are almost unlimited. Next time you glance at the car driving next to you, you might see a dance routine. So great are those possibilities, and so great is the enthusiasm for all things Tesla, that on the day it was launched in China, the TeslaMic was immediately sold out. In fact, it didn't even last an hour on the company website.

A few lucky buddings artists scored one of the wireless wonders for $188. Everyone else, they are told, will have to wait until the end of the month before they can try again. I doubt the Texas company is making them in Austin, I suspect somewhere in China instead; so the supply chain is short. In case you are wondering, although you can enjoy audio-only karaoke while driving, the full video karaoke experience is only available when the vehicle is stationary.

The audio/video software karaoke underpinnings are already present in Chinese Teslas. No word if or when U.S. Tesla owners will be similarly blessed. It is also worth noting that trend-setting Tesla is late to the car karaoke party; other EV companies already have tuneful offerings. A final data point: Tesla delivered almost a million vehicles globally last year; the potential impact of TeslaMic on the Top 40 charts is immeasurable.

I plan to appeal my lifetime ban from Akihabara.