The Night Before Christmas

(Mildly revised) ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Papa was puzzled, but he didn’t grouse.

The toys weren’t assembled, the hour was late
And Ma was exhausted, her patience not great.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of video games danced in their heads.

And with Ma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap
We were far from enjoying a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my work to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like The Flash
Tripped on a Playstation, then threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave a High Dynamic Range lustre to objects below.

And what to my frostbitten eyes did appear
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver dressed in Deep Color red
"St. Nicolas," I shouted, as he nodded his head.

More rapid than downloads his coursers they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Vizio! now Samsung! now LG and Sony!
Toshiba and Epson, JVC and Maloney! *

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
“Mind the Direct TV dish or we’ll have a great fall

As drones that before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

Up to the housetop the coursers they rose
Led by St. Nick and Atmos, with his LED nose.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot
And he littered our carpet with ashes and soot.

His bundle of e-toys he dropped on the floor
With video games, iPads, and gadgets galore.

His eyes how they twinkled, like starfields gone merry!
His cheeks were like roses, in DCI cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And his beard had been calibrated white as the snow.

He had a broad face and a little round belly
I feared for his health; too much PB and jelly.

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the flash of a pixel.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
“Happy Christmas to all, and an ISF Night!”

*Artistic rhyming license.

K.Reid's picture

Nice, Tom. What a treat and joy read. Happy Holiday

Rob Sabin's picture
Awesome fun, Professor Norton...thanks for the high-tech holiday cheer!
David Vaughn's picture
Read it to the family on Christmas and we all had a good laugh. Great job Tom!
Thomas J. Norton's picture
Thanks! Even more fun are these Christmas songs that date back 60 years or so. But they have no A/V connection unless you count their original formats -- 45 and 78RPM!