Ken C. Pohlmann

Here are the facts, which are not in dispute. Furthermore, I am not making this up. In a suburb of Richmond, Virginia, a man wearing a television on his head was leaving televisions on front porches.

His Wikipedia page lists his occupations as “army scout, Pony Express rider, ranch hand, wagon-train driver, town developer, railroad contractor, bison hunter, fur trapper, gold prospector, showman.” Of course, it is the latter occupation that Buffalo Bill is mainly remembered for, and the preceding occupations gave him the credibility to present a darn good show. He also made an audio recording.

Experts now agree that within five years everything on planet earth will be controlled by robots. As they cruise far above us in their giant balloons, the robots will look down and decide that we look like ants, and treat us as such. That's not great, but at least we're not actual ants, who will be totally screwed.

I know, I know, you are pretty darn busy. With Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Wordle, you hardly have any free time for things like – you know – work. Nevertheless, today I have for you another supremely excellent way to fritter away even more of your valuable time.