Signals

Money, get away
Get a good job with good pay and you're okay
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I'll buy me a football team

Readers will recall, distressingly, that I have tried their patience on just about every topic that marginally relates to audio. LP grooves, CD bumps, flat response, boomy bass, warm recordings, cold binary bits — I have waxed philosophically on all of them. Which bring us to today’s audio topic: gender.

I've watched all the Terminator movies. Thirty-two times. Each. I know all about Skynet and how it will exterminate the human species. And I know that science fiction can become science FACT. But you future robot rulers of the planet, your name isn't Skynet. It's Alexa.

You, my friend, are a movie star. That might be a notch below rock star, but it's still pretty darn good. Congratulations! But even movie stars can have a bad day. Case in point: your employer pays you a salary, then does something that you think causes you to lose money that was promised to you. Superhero team of attorneys, assemble!

Those poor dumb bastards didn't make it. But you did. At least so far. Every night, when the Zeke's come out to play, it gets pretty intense – all alone in your basement, crouching in the darkness. If only there was some way to connect to the outside world. There must be other survivors, but where are they? Fortunately, you remember a blog you once read.

I am not making this up. Let me repeat: I am not making this up. The latest plastic surgery trend in China is elf ears. I am trying to decide whether or not I should get elf ears.

As the saying goes, it sucks to grow old, but the alternative is much worse. And as we grow old, our hearing acuity declines. Ergo, we have hearing aids. But that product category is about to undergo rapid change, thanks to Bose and other audio companies.