This is my last communication. Outer walls breached. Door is splintering. Hinges giving way. Out of ammo. Just one grenade left. I’ll take as many as I can with me. God have mercy on my soul.
The 2023 holiday season was another last hurrah, this time for DVDs and Blu-ray Discs...
It may surprise you to learn that yesterday was not the past, and tomorrow will not be the future. In fact, it is the opposite. Yesterday will be the future, and tomorrow was the past. I would not make such a bold claim unless I have proof. And I have proof.
I love tubes. You love tubes. Everybody loves vacuum tubes. Of course, the ultimate vacuum tube is a cathode-ray tube — the glowing heart of good, old analog televisions. What a cool invention — a device that can input electrical signals and convert them into visible moving images. Hmm — would it be possible to build your own CRT as a DIY project? You betcha!
We are equipped with five senses: Sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. The thought of losing any of them is frightening. Setting aside the question of aging, even the thought of only diminishing any of our senses is unsettling. So, the question is, if a faulty product caused you to suffer an impairment of one of your senses, what kind of compensation would be appropriate?
A purist can be defined as “a person who adheres strictly and often excessively to a tradition.” I would add the corollary: particularly when it comes to analog audio. Which brings us to today's DIY project: Building your own audio amplifier from scratch. With vacuum tubes, of course.
You mow your own grass. You shovel your own driveway. You make your own granola. You grind your own coffee beans. You chop your own firewood. You change your own oil. You reload your own ammo. You make your own vacuum tubes. Wait. What?
What does a roaring fire, crispy bacon, a rainy day, and an LP record have in common? I'll give you a moment to ponder that. Meanwhile, on a related note, let me opine that the best thing about LPs isn't their high sound quality. It's their lack of it. Let me explain.
For reasons we'd rather not discuss here, it's 4 AM and you're driving to Ellijay. Cold rain turning to snow. And you're hungry. Everything's closed. Then you spot the familiar yellow sign. You know 'em. You love 'em. It's a Waffle House. Turn signal, brake lights.
Has this ever happened to you? You’re cruising down the boulevard, listening to your favorite music on your favorite radio station, then suddenly your infotainment system goes dead. WTH? If you were driving a Mazda, this might sound all too familiar.
I know, I know. You already have plenty to worry about. And I hate to do this to you. But, as a professional “journalist,” it is my sworn duty to deliver content that gives people sleepless nights. So, I present to you, The Buzzer. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Constantly running from the room to check his text messages. His whispered late-night phone calls. Lipstick on his collar. Honey, even if you didn't see it, we knew hell was ready to break loose. Then last Monday, your TV and Netflix had a real blow up. I know, I know. Breaking up always breaks your heart. But I think it's better this way.
So, it's come to this. New TVs will have a sticker to verify that they can't be hacked. Or, maybe they can be hacked. We're not sure. The logo in the illustration isn't some goofy thing I cooked up to punk you. It is a genuine logo, backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. Government. So you know it's a good thing.
“For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the Turbo-Encabulator.”
Classical music has a problem. A tiny company, and the world’s largest technology company, both think they have the answer. They are strapping on their powdered wigs and stepping onto the podium. May the best baton win.