Ken C. Pohlmann

My prayers have been answered. Ever since I was a small boy, I have wanted this. Every day at school I filled my notebooks with scribbled diagrams of my dreams. My teachers thought I was crazy. But now, my dreams have come true. I pinch myself in disbelief as I say this – humanity has been gifted with a water-powered loudspeaker.

I don't usually shop for pasta bowls, but when I do, I shop at Bed Bath & Beyond. On the other hand, I never, ever shop for audio gear at Bed Bath & Beyond. Thus I was shocked, and almost dropped my damn pasta bowl, when I spotted one of the most venerable names in audio in their check-out area.

Congratulations! You, the president of a multinational audio technology company, are a man among boys. You are a captain of industry, a titan of corporate prowess. Under your command, your dozens of factories and thousands of employees toil to bring forth wondrous new products. And what wonders they are—your portable CD players are the best of the best. People line up to buy your cutting edge in-dash head units. In a few months, your keynote will blow away the 1987 Consumer Electronics Show. Then you wake up, alarm buzzing. It's 2014. Hitting the snooze button isn't an option.

I must admit, the news took me by surprise. I know that vinyl is officially a thing, and a growing thing at that. But I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to learn that Sony was getting back into the LP business.