Wouldn't You (Dan) Rather Watch News on HDNet?

HDNet took a break from filming high-definition bikinis on beaches to bag veteran news anchor Dan Rather who will produce and host a new program called "Dan Rather Reports". The show will premiere exclusively on HDNet beginning in October.

According to HDNet, "Dan Rather Reports" will be a weekly one-hour news program featuring "hard-edged field reports" as well as interviews and investigative pieces. The shows are to be uncensored and "will reflect the signature qualities of its host with a focus on accuracy, fairness and guts."

HDNet is no stranger to the news business. Current news programs include "HDNet World Report" (hour-long news documentaries shown entirely in high definition) and "Deadline!" (an irreverent "fast-moving half hour filled with the fun, offbeat and very strange news".)

Presumably, HDNet's ratings among conservative Republicans will drop significantly after the show begins to air. "Bikini Destinations" diehard viewers will likely be put off by the 74-year-old's (he'll turn 75 on October 31) distinctive but HD-unfriendly facial features. Mark Cuban, Co-Founder of HDNet, is unperturbed by such concerns.

Speaking of Rather, Cuban said, "Now that he is finally released from the ratings driven and limited depth confines of broadcast television, I am excited about the impact Dan can have on the future of news."

Offstage, Rather was heard to say, "I'm just glad to have a job. My 401k was heavily invested in Enron, so I need the cash. But once I have enough (after taxes) to buy a Blu-ray Disc player and a couple of discs, I'm outta here."

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