Signals

I know, I know. You already have plenty to worry about. And I hate to do this to you. But, as a professional “journalist,” it is my sworn duty to deliver content that gives people sleepless nights. So, I present to you, The Buzzer. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

When I bought my first house, the first night I slept there, I was convinced the place was possessed. The first night I slept in my current house, a Nor'easter came along and the place howled like a banshee. Which brings us to the Case of the Singing Bridge.

So a woman walks into a store to buy a smart speaker. She sees that the speakers are selling for 20 bucks. “Wow,” she exclaims, and asks the store owner, “How can you sell these for such a low price?” The store owner responds, “Well, actually, each speaker costs us 30 bucks.” The woman says, “Then how do you make a profit?” The owner responds, “We make up for it on volume.” The woman says, “That's illegal!”

I have a theory. Well, it’s not really a theory. It’s more of a hunch. Actually, it’s not even a hunch. Just a tingling. But sometimes my tinglings are surprisingly prescient. Here’s my tingle: Thanks to societal shifts, in the coming years there will be a huge resurgence — a boom — in the popularity of home theater.

Here are the facts, which are not in dispute. Furthermore, I am not making this up. In a suburb of Richmond, Virginia, a man wearing a television on his head was leaving televisions on front porches.

You probably read about it in the news. Some filmmakers were making a documentary on the history of Atari, and they became intrigued by an urban legend of lost video games. To solve the mystery, they brought in heavy equipment and dug into a concrete-covered grave.

One minute you are the Shiny Object that everyone is clamoring for. Then the next minute you are Yesterday's News, thrown onto the trash heap of history, in favor of the next Shiny Object. Alas, the iPod.