One minute you are the Shiny Object that everyone is clamoring for. Then the next minute you are Yesterday's News, thrown onto the trash heap of history, in favor of the next Shiny Object. Alas, the iPod.
Personally, I do not believe the oft-told story that the width of the solid rocket boosters for the Space Shuttle were based on the standard width of two Roman war horses. But, the story does remind us of the importance of standards, and how they affect our lives in ways that are great and small.
If you happened to be at cruising altitude last Monday, your pilot probably got on the comms and made an unexpected announcement. Effective immediately, the mask mandate had been vacated. What??? Oh no!!! Fortunately, you were wearing your Dyson headphone.
Congratulations! You are one of the first humans to walk on Mars! That is so awesome! But then you suffer an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction – your helmet comes off and there you are – completely exposed to the Martian atmosphere. As you lose consciousness, you hear the sound of a piano.
Man, oh, man. Can this really be happening? Over these many years, I have purchased all manner of excellent Sony products: radios, televisions, tape recorders, receivers, amplifiers, turntables, Betamax video recorders, CD players, DVD players, Blu-ray players, MiniDisc players, headphones, boomboxes, speakers, soundbars, videogame consoles, phones, camcorders, cameras — you name it. But will my next Sony purchase be…a car?
Whenever I board a train, airplane, or boat, I always ask if I can drive. Except for the time when that cruise ship capsized and sank off the French coast, the engineer/pilot/captain has never handed over the keys. Still, it never hurts to ask. But when I get in a car, I almost always get to drive. Which brings us to the question of “driving” a car and the future of mobile entertainment.
Amazon is close to achieving its goal of world domination. Much like Alexander the Great, Mr. Bezos is surely weeping because he has no more worlds to conquer. But cheer up, good sir. Amazon's most talkative progeny will soon go to the final frontier, where only a few men have gone before.
Alert readers will recall that I recently heaped praises on TeslaMic, an in-car karaoke technology that gives Tesla owners the opportunity to unleash their inner Mick Jagger. Now, unfortunately, it's time for some Tesla scorn, courtesy of our Federal overlords.
Many years ago, I would ride my bicycle to the neighborhood record store, lean it against the window (no need to padlock), spend an enjoyable hour lipping through LPs, pick one out, and buy it (cash, of course). I would then slip it into my backpack and ride home, put the needle in the groove, and enjoy the sound of my purchase. Oh, how times have changed. In particular, the cool kids are now buying music as non-fungible tokens (NFT).
I have bad news for you. Really bad news. The TeslaMic is sold out. I know – it is soul crushing. Your dreams of karaoke world domination have been shattered.
Serious question: Why do dogs like to stick their heads out of car windows? That question has haunted philosophers for centuries and unfortunately I don't have an answer either. But someway, somehow, it is part of the same mystery of why humans really like to listen to music while driving.
The year is 1969. I am sitting in front of my family’s TV watching live black-and-white video from the moon. High-definition TV is still science fiction, but in the blurry picture I can see Neil Armstrong descend the ladder and step onto the lunar surface. In the middle of the transmission, I walk outside and look up at the moon, waxing crescent, thoroughly amazed that for the first time people are up there looking back at me. Now, almost a lifetime later, we are preparing to go back to the moon. Just writing that sentence gives me goosebumps.
Back in the day when they served economy-class meals on airplanes, I actually thought the food tasted pretty good. That is a sad commentary on the quality of the cuisine I cooked for myself at home. Now, you're lucky to get a 0.7-oz bag of delicious Party Mix. On the other hand, the on-board video quality will soon be looking good.
Girlfriend, I feel for you, I really do. Why can't people just accept the fact that you are a music genius? You know why they hate you? It's because they can't be you. If you win the case, they'll say you are banal, uncreative, and unoriginal. And if you lose the case, you will have plagiarized and have to pay tons of $$$ damages. It's just not fair.
One could argue that Beethoven's 9th symphony represents the very pinnacle of Western culture. Since then, has any other artist produced a work that equaled its restless and joyful expression? How could even Beethoven himself have improved on its perfection? After the 9th, would he have even dared to write another symphony? Well, yes, he would. And that brings us to the question of Beethoven's 10th symphony.