30 Iconic Voices American Idol Would Hate

AI has launched some big musical careers, but what would Simon and Co. have said if these bonafide talents had stepped on stage with a number pinned on their shirt?

Trent Reznor

Judges Say: It's one thing to sing like you're cracking walnuts between your butt cheeks, it's another to seem so angry about it. He'd pop a neck vein by the semifinals.

Louis Armstrong

Judges Say: Nice try: Using a trumpet to distract us from the fact that he sounds like a regular at the bar in Star Wars.

Sammy Davis Jr.

Judges Say: Is that a wandering eye, or... OH GOD.

Billy Corgan

Judges Say: Who let a goat in the room? And why is it complaining so much?

Woody Guthrie

Judges Say: That's cute. A real farmer!

Janis Joplin

Judges Say: In the words of esteemed colleague Perez Hilton: "Hot mess." LOL.

Tom Waits

Judges Say: Smells like a Greyhound station -- and America values its hygeine.

Morrissey

Judges Say: Sounds like he's actually crying. Seriously, is he having a breakdown?

Robert Johnson

Judges Say: All the "devil" talk is weird. Maybe if he comes back next year and "goths" it up a bit...

John Lee Hooker

Judges Say: Points for being the only hooker on the show to admit it. O snap!

Billie Holiday

Judges Say: Does she know what heroin does to the complexion? Think of the photo shoots...

Tiny Tim

Judges Say: Sanjaya with a ukelele. Good luck on YouTube.

Bob Dylan

Judges Say: You know when you're bored on the can, and you start singing through the toilet paper tube? Yeah, like that.

Bjork

Judges Say: The cat mewling, hair pulling, chest thumping... it's like watching Paula backstage before the taping.

Beck

Judges Say: Loser, baby.

ARTICLE CONTENTS

X